Welcome to the Taooftash

Firstly I have to remind those of you that phone the house that our answer machine message is still spoken by Tash. You need to be prepared for this.

Friday evening marked the London gathering for Natasha.

It was a very good evening, I was told many times that it was beautiful, but like our wedding day, I remember less than I would like to. Andy took on the toastmaster responsibilities for the event standing on a chair to address the forty or so people who had come. His opening speech welcomed everyone and set the tone for the evening, open, loving and full of stories.

My turn to speak came next and represented the only downward view of the afternoon, I feel that there is importance in explaining how things had become, how difficult it was to maintain Tash's Bella Figura, the good face, as the Italians say, as a counterpoint to understanding why a celebration is better than a wake. There were a few jokes too, so it wasn't all gloom.

Johanna Hemmingway then stood up and told us about life with Tash at school, I remember that there was a reference to Tash's fondness for a brief afternoon snack of a "cold chop".

This was followed Robby who told us about Tash's time in Italy.

The Italian gang, Robby, Piero, Andrea, Cesca, Laura and Uli then stood up linked arms and sang a song called Albachiara, by the Italian rock legend Vasco, very Italian and I missed Tash so much at that moment.

Pete Croft was due next, but he had managed to find traffic on London Bridge so Vince took the stand. We haven't spoken to Vince for about 18 months, mainly due to his inability to find the reply button when you send him an email. He had flown over specially and I admit we had both got quite upset when we first saw each other again. Tash was a bit of an influence on him, to be more accurate they shared an affinity for spending their money and she tutored him in the ways of buying only the finest product. Vince didn't make it to the end of what he wanted to say, though upbeat this was still an emotional time, remember, and Donna took over to regale us with the story of the purchase of Tash's wedding dress (went to Harrods and hired a private shopper, looked like a meringue, escaped around the corner, found the purple number, went and got drunk).

Karen gave us a run down of the top words she associated with Natasha.
Her Tushie lexicon was:
1. Vivacious
2. Classy
3. Shopper
4. High Tech
5. Crazy
6. Tricky
7. Beautiful

And Fiona also filled in some more blanks and bridged the two worlds of the Core4 girls and the woollen league represented by Pauline.

Vic continued with many stories of his "faloola" and Pete arrived just in time with the story of how he met Tash and Christine in America on the first leg of her trip all those years ago.

Pauline finished this section with a rousing description of the effects Tash and her need for accuracy and good knit-craft had on the knitting group. The knitting group were all sat at the front, knitting of course. They are finishing the "BPT" the Bloody Purple Thing, a finely knit purple jumper that she had been making in the last months, but because Tash was so anal about her knitting, it is stitch perfect and the group have taken on the challenge of completing it for me so Tash can travel home with it.

Laura then stood and read a prayer in Italian.

No one did come forward to offer their vocal services, but Jason, my sisters partner made himself available for the task. We spoke about how I wanted the song sung during the day and I could see that he was apprehensive, it was a big call after all. He did it well, even managing to get the rest of the garden to join in. I had thought that at this point I would just have a cry, but to be honest with you, I had already managed that one, so stood up and sung too. I have done many difficult things in the name of Tash over the years, standing in front of 40 people arm in arm with Jason bellowing out You are my Sunshine, when I cannot sing, was the weirdest.

Then we all got quite drunk, it would have been what she would have wanted.

Pauline took some photographs of the event, being a photostream it runs backwards, so start at page 4 and work to page 1. Her pictures start at the Vasco song (page 5 contains images from the Wednesday night knitting club that Tash was part of, I asked them to hold last weeks at the flat in her honour. Much knitting was done) See pictures here

It goes without saying that the last couple of days have continued the surreal theme. Both Ken and I have been overwhelmed with the support and love that has been coming in via email and phone and I thank you for that.

When we got home on Sunday night I had a terrible desire for a beer, so we did and then invited a few friends around, got more beer, got more friends and went from there. This is a terrible loss, but to just focus on that is to do Tash a disservice as many of you have gone out of your way to tell me just how much of a positive influence she had on your life, apart from the Pete Doherty thing, which no-one seems to understand.

Monday was an odd day, the first time in months where I was not worried and the first day in weeks where I did not have to be at the hospital. Ken, my sister (who has been doing sterling work looking after us both), Andy and I went for lunch and sat in the park taking the piss out of the various runners, skaters and cyclists that went past. It was a pleasant distraction, considering.

Yesterday was not so hot, but then spending the day applying for a death certificate and seeing the undertaker is never going to rank very high on anyones list of top things to do in London. The undertaker is a nut case and I was pleased that Tash isn't having so great an input in to this part of her journey otherwise I'd be spending the morning phoning up her competitors asking "hello are you slightly odd". The procedure to repatriate her is complex and will take around 10 days. Ken is flying home on Saturday and I will follow later next week to arrive for the funeral, spend some time in the homeland, return, pack up our flat and come out to Sydney for a more prolonged time at the end of June as was our plan.

In the meantime I am sure that you want to know what we are thinking about by way of a service in London:

I would like to celebrate Tash in the rear garden of the Royal Inn on the Park, (Address: Lauriston Road, E9 7JH ) the pub that some of you came to for our bi-annual parities. If you were never told, it was where we had our first date. It is also just a taxi ride from the City so you have no excuse.

We are going to get together this Friday afternoon at about 16:30, in the pub garden, it is what she would have wanted, alcohol, an excuse to leave work early and sunshine.

Our plan for the event is fairly informal, I would like to talk to you first and then have/am asking four or five people to share their memories of Tash with you. Then there will be a prayer (hopefully in Italian, but we shall see who is able to make it over).

The next bit is really tricky and I need someone to step up for this; Though many of you associate Tash with music and in fact despite drilling her for many months on my three top songs I struggle to pinpoint hers, choosing instead to direct you at the 30 gig of music on our computer and just say, well that. She had one song that we all knew her for and I would like that sung. I am looking for a confident singer to lead us (well you, as I will be in bits) in a rousing rendition of You are my sunshine. I want the following to be crystal clear however - I am not looking for a morbid, slow weepy version, but as upbeat and chirpy as we can make it, if you can do lounge singer, all the better! I currently have a country and western version going on in the background (lyrics, internet, websites that sort of thing) and it is possible to listen to this, remember tash, and not cry too much.

As for the rest of the evening, Tash and I were very impressed at the toastmaster system that we saw at Ben and Johanna's wedding in September and Ken and I feel it is fitting that we employ this here. I will be pointing Andy out to you and if you wish to stand up/come to the front/get on a chair and also say something, he will sort this out.

Please no gifts or flowers, I have explained why on the linked page, but instead could you consider donating to the charity CancerBackup though Natasha's Just giving page.

Michelle, Natasha's work colleague has suggested that some of you might like to attend this Friday's event resplendent in her favourite purple and green hues.

In the coming weeks I am going to progress the Tao idea a bit, Marisa suggested that it might be nice, considering how geographically wide spread her friends are that I publish your photographs and memories. This is a good idea and so manual that I will occupy me. If you have a picture of the girl (max size 800x600 pixels please) and a description - cause I am not psychic and the fact that this is Tash in 1982 in a milk bar in Paddington wearing "that Flanno" shirt will be a description that I would like to read, but could not work out for myself and use this link (not ready yet) to mail it to me.

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